A Journey of LGBTQ+ Advocacy, Recovery and Tattoos

 Welcome to your ink story, Dylan. I'm so delighted you're here to share your ink stories. How you doing?  I'm doing well. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Oh, where are you located? I am located in a town called Larksville, Pennsylvania, which is  just outside of Wilkes Barre. 

 And how do you glow in the world? How are you serving the world with your deliciousness?  Well I am, first and foremost, I'm a person in long term recovery. I wear that  as a badge of honor.

It's actually kind of the inspiration behind some of my tattoos, which we'll get into later. Thank but  I'm an advocate for the LGBT community particularly those who experience substance use and or mental health complications.  In addition to that, I'm the director of business development for a startup outpatient drug and alcohol treatment program.

So I work in,  drug and alcohol treatment. I'm a graduate student. It's like, I have so many hats, you know what I'm saying? Like founder. Yeah. So you're doing it all. You're doing all the things  yes. Like, and listeners, this is October, which I believe is mental health awareness. And today, actually, when we're recording this on October 10th, I think it's world mental health day.

Yes, it is. It is. Yeah. So thank you so much for your wonderful work in the world. I know you are helping people and families  who are experiencing addiction in their lives. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for that. So let's find out about Dylan's. Tattoo origin story.  Dylan. Tell us what inspired you to wear body art and get that first tattoo. 

Oh, God. The first tattoo I, I literally got on my 18th birthday. And I think really  The first tattoo was just  to like be rebellious kind of it was like, Oh, the cool people wear tattoos, I was 18. At the time I was living in Colorado, but I was in San Diego with my girlfriend at the time, .

And we were walking. By the boardwalk in Pacific Beach in San Diego, and we strolled by a tattoo parlor and I ended up getting her name tattooed on my ankle. That was my first tattoo.  Just random, you know, so with you, did you get it is  it is. Yeah. You know, and it's interesting because that it's on my right leg.

And  since then I now have pretty much a sleeve from the knee down on that leg.  And they're all piecemeal,  it wasn't like I had this design that  I'm just going to have this sleeve. It was , . Little tattoos kind of like added to it. And  there was a period of time as I was adding tattoos to my leg where I considered covering  her name.

Her name was Lily May.  And I love that name. Yeah. Lily May, Lily Maye on their ankle, Lily flower, you know, very delicate. , of course,  . And , I decided not to cover it because obviously, we're not together anymore  but that was.  An important part of my life.

Absolutely. When you first got that tattoo, were you afraid to show it to people? You hid it under a sock? It was just between you and Lily Mae? No, I'm very much the opposite of that.   That's just kind of my personality. I like to show things.  I guess you could call me a social butterfly.  , tattoos have become kind of like a topic of conversation.

 When you're meeting new people or whatever right. And listeners tuning in, I want to know,  how about you? Your first time getting a tattoo? Was it 18? Was it a rebellious moment? If so, pop that into the comments. We want to know, be sure to hop on over to Instagram , at, tell me your ink story.

  As you  went to your next tattoo and you started thinking about why tattoos.

Take us through that evolution. Did you start getting more curious about what to put on your body? Why to put it on there? And who would be doing the honor, the tattoo artist bringing your ink to life? You know what? I don't even know what my second tattoo was. I think it was,  what they call a tramp stamp. 

We're very familiar now with tramp stamps. Yeah, I have one of those circa 2007,  probably I was 19. So it's a tribal,  it was like back at the tribals were like the thing to do. Yeah.  And that was  just like convenient.  I was actually in my addiction at that time.

And it was just  some guy that I was using with that was a tattoo artist.  We were in a hotel and he had his equipment and next thing you know, I'm getting tattooed.  Oh my gosh. And is it down the lower back part of your back? Yes. Yeah, it is.  Listeners, I will have either a blog post or an audio for you on tramp stamps.

And then what happened next in your tattoo journey, Dylan? 

I think my next tattoos were in the beginning stages of my recovery.  And how old, how old were you when you started to go, okay, I'm an addict and I'm in recovery? Yeah,  I like to say that that was  an organic thought for me, , but my life was , in shambles around me and I  was kind of like forced into treatment by the criminal justice system when I was 21.

And between the ages of 21 and 23, I was in and out of treatment and jail a few times. And so my next tattoo, I got.  Actually, I was in sober living still another convenience, you know, one of the guys in the sober living was a tattoo artist and he had his equipment and  he actually mama's boy on my chest.

So,  and is that true? Are you a mama's boy? Yeah, a hundred percent.  Where did you grow up, Dylan?  So I am born and raised in San Diego. For the most, most part. I did move from San Diego to Morrison, Colorado, which is like outside of Denver. It's where Red Rock's Amphitheater is. Yep.  I went to Conifer High School.

So I lived there from , 2000, 2001 to 2006. And then I moved back to San Diego and then moved to Pennsylvania in 2018. So, . And your addiction  was the one attempt at recovery. And that worked for you take several times. Yeah.

Several, several times. I was in and out of treatment and jail.  I was afforded some privilege.  Honestly, if my skin tone was a little bit darker, I could have seen me going to prison for the initial charges that I had right off the bat.  But I was afforded the ability to  be placed on probation.

 But The internal motivation wasn't there initially you know what I'm saying? So  there was relapses as I was kind of like figuring out if this was something that I even wanted you know, for recovery.  And listeners, you know, from listening to episode 12,  right?

With Eliza, it took her 15 years  and really. You're in the recovery world now. That's not easy to come out of a 15 year addiction  and get into recovery. So she is a beacon of hope.  

What helped you make that final step and go, okay, I want more from my life.  There was a bunch of different things. , but I would say probably if there was a moment, like an aha moment or a moment where.  There was a switch from external motivation from , all these consequences   piling up to the shift of internal motivation to do something different was the last time I was incarcerated.

And  , I was sitting on a concrete floor and a holding cell with 40 other men , for processing in San Diego County jail. So it's like terrible. So it was probably like 36 hours or something. And I just knew that  out of everything that I had been through my whole entire life, like childhood homelessness abuse, neglect,  whatever, near death experiences. 

I wasn't still alive to be . Sitting on the concrete floor.  I had purpose.  There was a reason that I was still around , and that wasn't it.  And at that moment, there was the first  real desire  to do something different, you know and that was, the start  I finished out that time incarcerated and then I went to treatment for the last time that was in 2011.

Oh, I'm so grateful. Yeah. So I haven't been sober since then, I  had a relapse in 2017  because  I got away from  the principles of the program,  I practice a 12 step program of recovery. And  I  stepped away from those things I experienced to relapse in 2017. 

But how long did it take you Dylan to come back into recovery from that?  Well, the relapse  started with smoking weed and it was like a slow transition. I relapsed on my drug of choice which was crystal meth in 2017. And it was shortly thereafter a couple of days later that I went back to the rooms. I'm so glad because the work you're doing as a recovering addict is so important and helping so many families as well as those with addiction.

I'm just so grateful that you found. That internal guidance, especially after only, , two days to get back into recovery , and stay with it. So thank you for that.  And when you look at your leg and the part of your sleeve down there, are there any tattoos that stand out that are real touchstones for you that have helped you with recovery? 

So , a big part of my recovery has been my journey through higher education. When I initially got sober in 2011, I was a high school dropout. I didn't have a GED. There was no chance that I thought that I could be successful , in school. And when I got sober,  And started, , participating in society and getting involved with organizations that were doing good work.

And I started hanging out with people who believed in me and saw things in myself that I didn't see there was this  passion, this desire to  gain more knowledge. And so I have quite a few tattoos on my leg, but  a lot of my tattoos are script.

I have different writings and sayings and  give us some examples. Yeah. So the one on my leg is live, love, laugh. And then I added learn  live, love, laugh, learn. And I know it's like typical, white girl tattoo,  but  it means a lot to me.  It's definitely something that , what in particular does it mean?

, why is it important to you?  Well, recovery showed me how to do those things.  I  didn't really know how to do those things before I got sober. So No role models. Yeah. Live, laugh. No. Love and learn. Yeah. You had to become your own representation. Sure. Yeah, absolutely.  And then I also have always pay it forward.

That's also  wrapped up in, in my leg tattoo , and that's always  been something that  is a value that I carry. You know, it was like  doing good for others. . You know, it's like part of recovery. It's  especially. What recovery is for me now is it's giving it away, you know what was so freely given to me.

And so, that's another important piece.  I also have . Astrology. I'm an Aquarius. So I have a big Aquarius down there on my leg. The symbol or the... It's the water bearer  dumping out the pitcher of water. There's a globe on the bottom. And then the water is coming out of the pitcher and splashing into the water in the oceans.

Of the globe  so your, viewers will be able to reference what that looks like in the reel that you're going to post,  make sure that you get those, those pictures, Listeners, you know, the visual really helps that you hop on over to Instagram. Tell me your ink story or hop onto the YouTube channel and you will see Dylan's beautiful tattoos and the scripts to also remind you and to inspire you to live. 

laugh and learn and always pay it forward. So , I'm seeing and listeners, as you know, while this is an audio, I get to see Dylan because we're doing a little video chat while we're recording right now. And I see some ink coming out onto your left wrist there. What's that all about? Yeah. So I also have a a sleeve that I'm working on, on my left arm.

It started actually as  this one flamingo here.  And what does the flamingo mean to you? So I always said that the flamingos were the bird of my people. I've heard of like a flock of flamingos is called a flamboyant. I don't know if you've heard that, but it is.  I'm all in on that for sure. 

So I have  lots of flamingos  my wonderful  one in a top hat because why not? You know  through life as a flamingo, . Oh, that's wonderful. And they're beautiful colors too. How did you find the tattoo artist to do that?  Oh, geez. So , this is the newest one here. And this is actually my nephew, Harley Baldwin. He is an aspiring artist.  And he is absolutely amazing gifted, talented.

I actually tapped on this 1, so we still have some work to do because  this is really sensitive areas right here. And it was 3 hours and I was like, okay.  I'll be back. Yeah, so this 1 is actually going to get finished probably next week. And what have you got going on? You've got a lot coming on in that.

Yeah, so this is.  Also new. So I have the first half of the third step prayer for Alcoholics Anonymous kind of broken up here. So what does it say? It says, God, I offer myself to thee to build with me and do with me as thou wilt. . Relieve me of the bondage of self that I met better do that.

I will  and that basically starts from the inside of my arm and goes down to my wrist.  And then in the middle of that  kind of like, breaking up.  The two portions of the prayer, I have the circle and triangle which is representative of Alcoholics Anonymous unity, service and recovery. 

And then  I added  the colors of the rainbow kind of like set up as watercolors. Nice. 

You know,  lgbtqia plus people experience substance use  and other mental health conditions at disproportionately higher rates. 

  And for me,  when I came out, that process was fueled by addiction, you know?

And,  so this coming to this kind of sexual liberation phase was then bonded  with an addiction , to substances. So for me,  It was really important that I found that community also in recovery. And so,  as I was getting sober and I was connecting with my peers, my recovery started in San Diego.

There was a very vibrant.  LGBT recovery community that I was able to  get my footing. And realize that being a gay man , there was much more to that part of my identity than my experience with  drugs and sex , and all of those things  recovery taught me  That I can be a gay man and I can be a part  of the community and in recovery,  and so that was a really important piece for me. 

  How old were you when you came out? When were you able to say,  I am gay? Yeah, so like, I came out to a couple people as early as like 12 years old. Like, I think I told my mom I was gay when I was in seventh grade or something. That was before we even moved to, Colorado.  And my mom was , yes, I know you can run in high heels better than I can walk in them.

Like, I totally understand. It's like, you're not telling me anything. I don't know.  But I came out, to the world  I was 18  just after my 18th birthday. I want to go back to Harley's tattoo because that's a beautiful, it's like you have a feather.

It looks like there's a Lotus. There's a lot going on in that beautiful piece of art and, what's that a wave? I mean, there's just so many beautiful parts and pieces. Yeah,  he is absolutely very talented and he doesn't use  any stencils.  So this is all freehand. Holy mackerel. 

So listeners wait till you see this. This looks like it's been stenciled. Yeah. So. , he drew it on his iPad at first  and then  I liked it and then he said, okay, it's yours. And then he drew it on with a marker  and then did it all freehand went to work. Yeah. So. 

And is that a feather? Is that part of a lotus? Talk a little bit about why it's it's feathers. It's feathers in the bottom. So it's it's another flamingo. And so this is like the body. But it's also shaped as  an S,  so , there's some artistic flair, I guess you could say,  it's not like a typical flamingo standing on one leg or something.

There's some uniqueness to it. Oh, I can't wait to have the photos for you to see this listeners because it's really extraordinary and the colors are unique as well.  , and how he's pulled it together. It's beautiful. Dylan. Thank you for that. Yeah. So  you've, inked certain parts of your body, right?

So is there meaning behind where you've placed your art or did you decide I'm going to put everything in these two locations and. Listen, I have tattoos. Both sides of my ribs are, are tattooed my lower back, my chest my right leg from the knee down my left arm. I have another tattoo on my. right arm.

I don't know if you could see this. This is  a pulse like you would see on Oh yeah. Okay. So echocardiogram.  Yep. So, and then this is the number 49. So I got this tattoo about a week after the pulse Orlando shooting.  And so 49 people . We're killed during that shooting and then the pulse and then it just says love life.

So that's just kind of like a reminder that life is fragile and yes  yes, the fragility of life is for real. We just had their was it six years  since  that happened? Yeah. I think so.  And then I actually have a tattoo. On my neck  that is actually in the process of getting removed.  So this is  the Aquarius sign, 

I was  21 again, it was just kind of like a random thing. I was in LA on Hollywood Boulevard and there was a tattoo shop. And I was like, yeah, let's get a neck tattoo. Cause like, why not? Right.  .  I love tattoos.

I will continue to get ink. But nothing from the shoulders up or the wrist down. And talk about having a tattoo removed. What's that like? Who do you call  painful? 

Yeah, , I'm really grateful that it's just a small little tattoo because it's really quick. It's less than, than two minutes per session. But it's very painful. It's more painful than any tattoo I've ever gotten. And it's also like a process. So  I started this a year ago.

 You're supposed  to, this is about six sessions and so I'll probably need a light little bruise. I mean, it's really faded quite well. And you should see what it was like when I started. I mean, it was very dark blue with the black outline. I'll send a picture of that 1 for you as well.

So you can kind of see what that looks like. And that leads me to talk about. What would you like to see change about the perception of tattoos? 

Tattoos are,  I think they tell us a lot about people.  Like I said, they're conversation pieces but they're also  For both the people who wear the tattoos and people who do the tattoos, it's about passion. It's about love. Sometimes it's about  pain. It's about sorrow. It's  really like life,  it's like,  tattoos are life , and,  I'm an avid ink wearer, and I will continue to be and I think tattoos are much  Less taboo than they have been, , in the past , particularly in the United States.

And part of the your ink story podcast is to get more people to be curious  instead of judgmental. Yeah. Right. Tell me about your ink story and finding ways to ignite conversation , and get the commonality. Yeah. Finding that common ground so we can talk about our humanity versus the things that divide us  

The whole process of getting a tattoo it's being fully expressed, you will look back on and say, okay, that was that time in my life.

And that was important. Yeah.   I was just going to say, just like the tattoo, for example , the Lily may  Lily tragically lost her life this last  summer.  She struggled with substance use and mental health , her whole adulthood. And  They found her body.

And I'm really grateful that I never covered  that tattoo 'cause I was close to covering it when I was getting the work done , on my leg. And I'm very grateful that I never did that. I am too. Yeah. 

 There's another,  stigma that we have to dissolve.  We have to dissolve the stigma against addiction and about and around mental health. This need to like go it alone in life. Are you nuts?  Yes. Life is really hard. And if you don't get the tools, it's going to always stay hard in a way that feels like you can't get out from underneath the weight of being a human, but the mental health. 

Process gives you the tools. It gives you the words. It gives you emotional literacy. It gives you more love and acceptance. It helps you with all the different internal family system voices going on inside of you that are yabbering away. There are tools that can help you manage all those voices in your head.

What thoughts do you have for listeners, Dylan, since this is your field, especially around addiction, that folks can take away with them on how to manage the mental health in their life.  You don't have to do it alone.  You know, there's a whole army of, not only professionals, but there's a whole army of people.

Who are there ready and willing to take your hand and walk you through the recovery process. And I think for families particularly.  Families , are a lot of times specifically,  with substance use,  there a lot of times people don't understand how families have been impacted  and there's a whole army , of families , , and people ready , to help.

You walk through this  wonderful, thank you for that. You are not alone. Listeners share that far and wide. We are here to help each other walk through this life and we were talking earlier about the fragility of our human journey and things can happen out of the blue and it's absolutely okay to find those folks who can help you specifically.

Who you feel aligned with. So I'm so grateful for that, Dylan. And I'm so grateful for you coming on the podcast and sharing your beautiful ink stories with us. And thanks for having me. Oh, your inspirational insights about your, , beautiful tattoos and the heart and the reasons behind your tattoos.

It really does bring us closer together. I know folks are feeling even more connected with you and others in their life who may be facing addiction or who are in recovery. Thanks to not just your beautiful tattoos, but your wonderful stories behind the ink  that you have on your beautiful body.