Empowering Ink Stories from a Breast Cancer SurThriver

 Welcome to your ink story, Melissa. I'm so delighted you're here to share your ink stories with us.  Good morning, Ande. Thanks for having me. Oh, I just love that. We were connected by the phenomenal Amy Fagan. That's episode 20, everybody. , be sure to check out Amy's story. Melissa, before we get started, please let folks know where you're from and how you glow in the world. 

I am located in Brunswick, Maine.  How I glow in the world. It has changed so much lately for me. I think the easiest way for me to define that is  by showing up and making myself available to others. I'm no longer career focused. So, I'm not going to label myself with any sort of title by the work that I might do for income generating activity, because I don't feel like 

that no longer defines me. , my passion these days is to simply  be a reflection of what I'm. Working on to others, whether that be kindness, compassion. I think that's where I live. Kindness, compassion, and love as hocus pocus, as that sounds. Anyone who's known me over the years or has even followed me recently know that that's where I'm at.

So I just try to glow up 24, 7, 365,  wherever I am, wherever, whatever I'm doing. Excellent. And how did you transform and transition into this wonderful state of being? Because we all need to take a step back, right? And go, okay, yeah, we can't define ourselves by what we do. Because I don't know if you recall that great Wayne Dyer quote.

I have it on my wall right here. And it's that you are always a valuable, worthwhile human being. No matter what it does, it's nothing to do with what you earn, what you do. It's because you decide that you're worthy.  He was right because that is how it happened for me.  I feel like I've had several careers in a really short period of time.

And so after you kind of start checking the boxes, you know, I wanted to do this check, wanted to do that check.  I reached that point at 35.  And so I then started searching and it was just like, well, what else is there? Because I still felt unfulfilled. , like you were saying,  I got the titles, I got the accolades, but there was still emptiness inside.

And so I had to figure out how to  re identify with myself. And that was just through myself and not a title or a career or a job. And that took a lot. I mean, that took years and it really was my cancer diagnosis and the past year of having gone through cancer treatment that I feel really gave me permission to just be and that was enough.

Yes. You got out of doership, right? Yeah. , and got into being and what kind of cancer were you diagnosed with, Melissa? Sure I had stage two breast cancer that had spread to my lymph nodes, so I had a pretty aggressive cancer treatment plan that I just finished in April. Oh, wow. Congratulations. And listeners, we're gonna be talking more about Melissa's journey 

 Melissa, let's talk about your tattoo origin story.  And listeners, I'm gonna encourage you get on over to Instagram.  to see Melissa's amazing canvas of body art. It is full on gorgeous everywhere. We're going to talk about each of the pieces, but something must have called to you, inspired you for that first time, permanently inking a design on your beautiful body.

That was my favorite part of preparing for today was reflecting on my origin because I haven't in so long. So I often tell people, if you're in the chair on your 18th birthday, I think you're a lifer. And that was me. I planned my first tattoo. In the state of Maine, 18. That's the law and so I basically just did research.

So God, if I was 18, that had to have been like  1995, I believe. And tattoos were hard to get in Maine in the nineties. And it was, you know, of the time where not everyone had them. It was more like if you were in the military or prison, you had them.  I recently learned, Melissa, that it was illegal in  New York City, I believe, until 95, or in the state of New York.

in your home state of Massachusetts until 2000.  Yeah, until 2000. That's why my honey came to Maine.  That's a whole other story. That's a whole other story. Listeners, Melissa's darling man, Ryan actually has a tattoo studio. He's a tattoo  artist. So you were 18 and you had the forethought to plan ahead.

It wasn't like you were walking down the street and said, Oh, I think I'd like to do that. I wanted it and I wanted it bad before that. So I even had driven to Portland. This was before the internet to Just start asking around and I found Portland Tattoo, I went in, I checked out the shop, I made an appointment, put down a deposit and then just waited for my appointment.

That's how I got my first two.  What was the design? , what did you put down for the first time? Oh God, this is awful.  I'm a Leo and I got the Omega symbol. Are you too, Andy? I am. What day are you? August 1st. Oh my God. Who are you? I'm August 10. Nice. And, and listeners, , my last name is Lyons.

I'm a Leo and August 10th is World Lion Day. What can I tell you? Stop.  That's awesome. But it's so nice to meet a fellow Leo. Yay. So I got the Omega symbol, you know, which is our astrological symbol. I got it on my stomach.  At that point in time, you know, my parents were like, You don't want it to be seen.

You're a girl or you're only 18. You need to be able to cover it up. So it was still, those were all the concerns of that time, you know, because they weren't very accepted, let alone on females. And at that time,  corporate America was still sort of the way and well, and the parents, right. They were thinking, oh my gosh, what is this going to say about our daughter?

Yeah. That she's loose.  Oh, totally. Especially my parents. Totally. Oh, yeah. It got to the point. I'll never forget one Mother's Day. I sat across from the table. My mother, I took her out to lunch and she looks at me and she's like scanning my tattoos and she's like, are you done yet?  And I was like, before I answer that first, thank you for acknowledging it means you're starting to accept them.

Like it hasn't changed me.  Oh, so yeah, I was definitely up against a lot of heat from my parents about tattoos and then the extent to which I started taking it. They were not ready for that, nor was I. Like, I think for a lot of people who are as heavily tattooed as I am, I think that's their goal. Like they see it. 

I did not see that  which is why I love my story because I truly understand like so many others the power of getting tattooed,  it wasn't because I wanted to look a certain way. It was because what it was doing for me and what was it doing for you. It was cathartic.  I started getting heavily tattooed when I got sober,  they really went hand in hand and I didn't know that at the time, but it was true addict behavior, like in its finest, it was, I quit one thing and I hit it hard on something else. 

And, and I really think that's what it was. It was giving me that same sort of numbness. that  I, I was getting out of drugs and alcohol, and then it was giving me a deeper sense of self as a result you know,  coming out with this unique art and a way to express myself uniquely. And thirdly, this is one thing that I really, really identified early on and why I was getting tattooed is. 

Like a lot of Leo's, we are go getters, like chase, chase, make, make more work to keep chasing. It was next level nonstop for me. And then I realized tattooing became a form of self care and people are like, , what do you mean? And I was like, well,  time, money. Energy that I was putting into myself,  it just so happened to have an outcome that was permanent, you know, that permanently changed how I look, but that I started going back in the chair for that.

It relaxed me. It calmed me. It took my mind off things. It forces you into the present moment. Totally. Totally. And it gives you that opportunity to release everything else. And especially when one has unaddictive behavior and you're still working out , the daily demons of managing feelings and life 

and being okay with how it feels versus numbing those emotions out. I can only imagine, what , having the tattoo. Coming to life on your skin does for you and then it becomes a touchdown don't for every day, correct? Yeah, and at the scale I was doing it, you know, I wasn't getting a small piece here and there, you know Well, let's talk about where you have to get your first two Melissa.

Where did you go from there? How did you decide what next to do  on your beautiful body because pretty much from the neck down you're covered Yeah,  that's a great question because my first two no longer exist. They have since been covered up.  But where I went next was I took a break because I knew  I wanted bigger. 

After that second one, something in me, I wanted more. And I wasn't seeing it like I didn't, again, we're talking 96 now, I wasn't seeing large scale work  ever. Right. So, I mean, the most biggest you would see would be something like on a sailor like a traditional heart, , or an anchor or, , a pinup girl, something like that.

And so I waited.  And waited  and waited  and how many years went by almost 10 years went by before I got my first big piece.  And once I got that piece, it really didn't stop after that. So I ended up dating a guy who was getting a sleeve.  And I was like, Oh my God. And that's how I found  sanctuary tattoo.

So I basically was like, where are you going? Who is doing that to your body? And that's when I said, okay, it's here in Portland now. So this was 2004, I guess. All  right. And maybe, yeah, maybe 2006 is when I actually got them. first big piece.  And how did you do your sleeve? Some people just piece by piece by piece up the sleeve.

Some people know I'm starting at the wrist. I'm moving my way up or I've got a whole piece mapped out and I'm going to come every two weeks, every four weeks and have you work on this until it's done. How did that unfold for you? Sure. So my second big piece was the start of my first sleeve and I went into it only wanting a half sleeve, like that's all.

So I'm not creative, which is kind of funny. I'm very black and white. I'm a business brain. But I knew I wanted these flowers and they were in honor of my mother and my grandmother. And that's, that's all I knew I wanted. Cause I just wanted a big piece and I was like, flowers are classic. They're timeless.

They're beautiful. I won't be afraid to show it. So boom. And with that was a hummingbird and some bees. Like I tied in my love for pollinators. And you worked with , your artists so that they could help incorporate. Did they show you designs ahead of time? Did you get a stencil? What was it like then?

Each artist's process is different. My particular artist you email him the content you want. So I basically was like hummingbird, bees, willies.  And at that point in time, I didn't even give him any reference pictures.  I trusted him to put it together,  because that was basically what I was advised to do.

He's like, , And can we give him  a shout out? Oh, that's Ryan. Oh my,  Ryan was my, was my tattoo artist, friend. First  tattoo artist. Second  boyfriend. Third boss. Fourth husband. Fifth. Oh my God. It's like the journey. What a beautiful love story. Thank you. About 20 years together now. I'd say really spectacular.

Yeah. We met in 2004, I believe  right around then. Yeah. Melissa. And Ryan, if you're tuning in, congratulations and listeners, I will have a picture of these two lovebirds in the photo reel because seriously, you just get goosebumps and you just go, Oh, yeah, it's probably a story. People didn't think we'd make it, you know, just getting here, Shania Twain song coming on and working together like that usually doesn't fare well. 

Been there, done that. We've been doing it for 10 years now, and just this past weekend we were talking about how to do it more  at a deeper level with bigger goals and things. So yeah. Aw, that is so wonderful. Oh, that is such a beautiful story. I love that. Something fair. So you got the sleeve done and now I have a photo of your back that you sent me.

What the heck that is like, there's so much beauty and vibration and I feel there has to be some kind of message or please talk about your back art. So that happened as a result of a coverup.  That's a coverup, believe it or not. So I pioneered the tramp stamp circa 96.  I pioneered that. Okay. What do you mean you pioneered that?

One of the first to get it guaranteed helped make it a thing. Are you kidding? I had an onk. So it's the Egyptian cross  symbolizes life tattooed in my low back.  And it was like this big, but if I bent forward, it all of a sudden was this big, you know? Well, and that's what it's for. I mean, and listeners, it was like, this was 19 year old Melissa. 

Wearing her little crop top in the nineties with her low jeans, you know, wanting to show a little something, something. And  so that was my little peeper out the back. That was my little peeper.  So, over time,  I think I'd had both my sleeves done, my chest done, my armpits done.  And I was, one of my side, my whole torso was, was getting covered and... 

I said, I think it's time. Like I, my, I never really wanted to cover up my first two. The only reason why I did was because of the, they didn't go with the other things I was getting. I was into this large scale work and it just didn't match. And so I was negotiating  working on my back and  I basically was like, that, that onk has thrown it all off.

And to do a cover up the tattoo, the new tattoo always has to be. usually twice the size of the original.  Why is that?  To pull off the coverup, you have to have enough real estate to , distract the eye  part of it. And, and just to work the color and the work, the magic, so to speak. And so now when I presented to this artist, , this is not Ryan's piece.

 He drew me a piece that was about , two thirds my back. And at that point, I just. We looked at each other, and I was pretty heavily tattooed at that point, and he goes, You want to do the whole back?  And I said, it would probably just make sense that it's just this large piece that, I mean, and look at it, it's, it's, it's gorgeous.

It's stunning. Melissa, tell listeners what. is on your back.  It's so gorgeous.  It's all things Egyptian lore that I love. , I just sort of took the original intent of that tattoo that was getting covered up and put it on steroids. I pulled,  the Eye of Ra, and the Scarab, just all the things that I love from the Egyptian history, the power feminism, like Bast is a protector there's just so much in that piece, and you have that big black  panther. In the middle. Is that what, what is  not on that piece. Okay. I do have a panther on my thigh on your side. That's all I'd have to look at. It's all best. I think it's like her legs that yes, sitting on and she's on a jeweled throne, like a June, a jeweled pedestal with runes and such.

So, so beautiful and so feminine. And so I've got your back. Yeah, right. As far as good energy.  She does. Like she's, she's looking over me. I felt like it was one of the first pieces I put on myself for myself.  Big pieces that I was putting on for me because the flowers were representing mom and , the chest, family, I mean,  a lot of meanings for others.

Right. And listeners, if you haven't listened to episode four with Chris Shattuck  Army that. Recovering, alcoholic, et cetera. The Egyptian gods and the Norse gods really were important for him on his large tattoos on his body to help him tap into that power. So, there's another wonderful reason why tattoos can be so, not just powerful, but empowering, remind you to stay strong and help you tap into that inner strength 

that is so. Fascinating. Again, listeners hop on over to Instagram at tell me your ink story and check out this beautiful artwork. Leave a message there and let us know how much you love Melissa's artwork as well. And so  as you walk through your body right now and you look at all these beautiful pieces of artwork that you have, do you have a favorite?

And I know it's like asking who's, what was your favorite pet, right? But is there one that just really has helped you the most? I think so. I think I have to

my right leg it's a full sleeve. It's a leg sleeve,  the bottom portion, the shin. I actually think I sent you that picture. It's Buddha.  That one is, is probably one of my favorites. I went on a spiritual journey to Southeast Asia in December of 2017, and was really touched with Buddhist lifestyle.

And I feel like that's sort of my jam is just,  Buddhism is not a religion, it's a lifestyle. Yeah. And the way they live. , it's, very parallel to how I live. I was really touched by the people and that trip and what it did for me and my own personal growth and development journey. And so I , incorporated Buddha onto me and basically how I got that particular Buddha was I looked through all the pictures of Buddha statues I had taken  On that trip, I'd gone and meditated in so many different temples.

And I just looked at, I said, you know, which Buddha really speaks to me. And that's , earth touching Buddha, which ironically out of all the different postures of Buddha, this is the one I chose. And then when I researched what earth touching Buddha means, it was his moment of enlightenment.  That was of enlightenment would so so divine to me and the top of that leg is a dragon.

And just what dragons sort of mythologically represent, , their strength, their protectors and all that.  This leg sleeve, that leg itself, I've had a lot of surgeries on. So it was also a very cathartic  Why did you have surgeries on that leg?  I'm a former athlete.

And so I've had two reconstructive knee surgeries. I'm on my third ACL on that leg. That leg has been a lot of issues.  I've had  bad varicosities  on that leg. And so I think it was just, again, super cathartic for me to be able to, I don't know. Decorate that leg, I guess, if you will and the one thing I want to say about what that tattoo has done for me more than any other tattoo has helped me with growing up as a athlete.  And I got picked on a lot, you know, when you're good, you're picked on, when you're better than boys, you're picked on. I got picked on for , having an athletic figure my entire life, you know, , having developed thighs, athletic build.

I didn't wear shorts for a long time. I was very self conscious of my lower body specifically  and so this tattoo honestly  needed to be seen, needs to be seen. And  I have never worn shorts more in my life.

So it has definitely given me confidence and it's really helped me crush that and other work. Any body dysmorphia that I had had for a long time. So tattoos do have that power to really boost your confidence. They really do. We hear it. In every episode, don't we listeners, every one of the guests sharing their tattoo stories will always focus on how they were boosted in life by their tattoo.

So Melissa, when you got diagnosed with breast cancer stage two, did you have lumpectomies, mastectomies,  talk a little bit about the procedure and then how you have tattooed that area today. So I got a bilateral mastectomy as a result of my diagnosis. It was high risk, high growth. I genetically was predisposed.

We did genetic testing and so it was a no brainer to get them both removed. I chose to have a flat closure. I did not get any reconstruction. I wanted reconstruction. I wanted my dream set, you know, I was like barely a B and I was like, I'm going to get that nice full C. I'm going to get it. 

But my body was telling me no. In what way? How?  It would physically clench on each chest panel. When I was thinking about it, every time I thought about it, every time I thought about it, it would, it was just like,  Pressure from inside pushing out and I was like, Oh my God, and I would cry about it because I have like a small window of time to make this decision.

I mean, obviously I can still go back and get it, but  you know, they were going to do it all at once. In fact, the plastic surgeon was booked, lined up and the surgery was As I was getting the results of my biopsy and the genetic testing, I said, you know, I'm going to get both breasts removed.

And I think I need to keep it that way. Just my body was a saying no, and it felt like more problems down the road. And  my good friend, Chris try on, she gave me a statistic that really. Helped finalize my decision.  She's also a breast cancer survivor. And she shared with me that she did some research and found a study about women who had gotten a reconstruction. 

Would they do it again?  And less than 10 percent said yes.  Oh, my gosh,  because so many have had problems or the stress that it gives them because they can't get a good mammogram and am I going to get breast cancer again? Or just the issues that they've run into body rejecting them, them leaking or them hurting. 

I don't want it. Too much responsibility, too much stress. And I have a dear friend who went through this a year ago and she is having such a good time running.  She's  like, I'm out there now and I don't have to worry, nothing's bouncing, nothing because I feel there's some perks  for those who like to shop new wardrobe, which I'm struggling with because I'm not a shopper, but things feel different.

They fit different. They look different. So it's definitely, there's still an, I'm still having, I'm still getting used to my new body. And here I am a little over a year post op. , I think when Tig Nagarro, is that how you say her last name, the comedian, when she got hers done and she showed it in that wonderful show of hers, I think One Mississippi is what it was called.

And she's standing there and she's going around with the t shirts on and she just looks so darn comfortable. Did I, did I tell you that? Oh, sorry about that. Oh, that's okay. We love dogs and cats and everybody in the show. It's good.  I don't know if I told you that I, at this year's Boston tattoo convention, I actually put myself in a  competition for best all over female.

And so this is like something that. A lot of the  competitors, they plan, they plan for the outfit, the makeup, the hair. And I was just kind of doing it more from, it was the breast cancer. I'm like, I, I need to be seen. I need to stand up for breast cancer and flat closure.

And so I entered the contest, long story short, enter the contest, get up to the stage. And I'm just wearing everyday clothes. I'd been working the convention with my honey. And I said,  How much can I take off? I'm a breast cancer survivor. And I go, I need to show you I've got something y'all need to see.

And they were like, take it off. And so I'm like, boom, I just like go like that, rip my shirt off. And then I said, Can I take my pants off? Because they don't realize how heavily tattooed I am. And they were like, as long as you have underwear on. And I said, okay, so I kicked my shoes off, dropped my pants thinking, I hope I don't have my granny panties on, you know, I'm like, I'm hoping I got on my nice CKs or something.

And I did.  I got on stage at the Boston tattoo convention, stripped down to my underwear, walked across the stage in front of two tables of judges, and then stood in front of the crowd in my underwear and your flat closure.  And I was like, I'm a breast cancer survivor, and the MC took over, she's a breast cancer survivor.

And he was like, F cancer.  And that just felt really good. It was so empowering to do that. And it paid off. As soon as I got off the stage, I had a woman come up to me crying and she was just like, thank you.  Thank you. And I was like, Thank you. Thank you. That's why I did it. There you go. You know what I mean?

So, but also, you know, your tattoo community, very accepting people.  That was the place to do it. If I was going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And,  still have an important impact. And how did you feel? I mean, I know you helped that woman, but how did you feel when you got off?  I was more nervous when I got off than when I was on there.

I was kind of like, what did I just do? I was like, now all these people, I have to look at them and they just saw me pretty much naked.  But it could take you back to, it brought back memories for me when I.  Late teens, early twenties when I'd get off and just what did I just do? Oh my gosh. And he liked to have a good time.

I bet. Oh yeah. I got the stories.  We'll have to get together sometime and share.  So Melissa, you got tattoos.  We're seeing this a lot now. I'm certainly seeing on the IG and TikTok tattoo feeds of the not just beautiful tattoos over the mastectomies, but also nipple tattoos to sort of just  help a woman feel like, okay, I still have nipples. 

What are your thoughts? How did you decorate your body after? You had your double mastectomy. So my chest was already tattooed completely. Like  they were, yeah, my boobs fully tattooed prior to my mastectomy. So what you see in those pictures was already there. My breast surgeon, she was so stressed out.

She was going to ruin them. So she would like Ryan in the room with every appointment, you know, but we were like, Hey doc, get the cancer out permission to botch my tattoos. Fix them later. So they were already there  in regards to,  women, doing them. 'cause  I've seen quite a few women who have done it.

 I work in the tattoo industry, so , I know my husband has tattooed over scars of various kinds. And again, it's cathartic. Some people don't want to be reminded of what they went through.  Or whatever reason in regards to the nipple reconstruction tattoos. I think that is phenomenal.

One of my best friends does permanent makeup PMU. I think she's studying to do the areola reconstruction. No, actually she's already doing it because she posted something on her social media and it was the woman's reaction to it. This was a woman who'd had a mastectomy. I think it was a single mastectomy with reconstruction.

But yet,  if you don't have your nipple,  you're still not confident perhaps, or feeling sexy. And I saw what the power of areola reconstruction can do. I mean, the woman just like went into tears and it's cause she was just so happy, that she could stand there after such a traumatic experience and feel better about herself and her body.

So I love that they're doing it and I'm all about it. You know, whether you get the areola reconstruction or you get gorgeous piece. Or you get nothing at all.  My body went through so much trauma the past year. , I'm having a hard time getting tattooed right now.  I've pushed back three appointments.

 I did just get tattooed finally I think three weeks ago maybe, or a month ago now. But it was where. My, I'm starting what leg I have left. So my left thigh and it was really painful. It was a hard session for me. I cried and I had to cut it short. Yeah. Yeah, my, I don't know if my body's really ready for it and I don't know if it wants to get more.

Right. And I remember and again, back to episode four folks with Chris Shattuck when he went to  get his , cause he's a stage four. Prostate cancer  thriver, and they were very concerned because it was so soon after his treatment and  it was probably 2021. So COVID is still hanging around and  he had to do a lot of research on the immune system, how his immune system would be challenged, but he just needed that tattoo.

And  it was hard. Melissa, I got cleared months ago to get tattooed, but I just haven't been ready, you know, pushing it out, pushing it out. It's only been a year, right? Since all of this happened, yeah, a little over folks  Melissa and I are chatting November 1st, 2023. And so,   this has been  very  quick, I mean, especially when you get diagnosed with the type of cancer that you have had Melissa,  they move very quickly.

So yeah. Absolutely. So I still see your body is still trying to catch up to what happened and this happens to a lot of humans, right? We have something happening. Our minds are all like rational. They're like, Oh yeah, we're in it. We've got this. We can do this. And the body's like, say what? Wait a minute.

I didn't get that memo. What are we doing now? Recovery from chemo alone takes 12 to 24 months. Like, Oh gosh. And then I had radiation on top of that. And I mean, it's just, it compounds. So yeah. And did you do immune? Therapy or no, no, but I am on an estrogen suppressor that I used to call it oral chemo.

It's a pill I have to take every day. You know, it becomes a huge shift in how you be in the world, but you are a Leo goddess. You're a fierce warrior s and you are bringing so much representation to women and their loved ones. on how to take this, not just the diagnosis, the chemo, everything, but the change, the significant change as a woman with your body  when you get,  the flat incision.

So now , women have been,  since they were nursing those children. have been identified by their breasts. And so now you've, you've removed that. And all of a sudden, there's just this whole new metamorphosis as well in transition for you. And you're putting it out there proudly yet transparently,  talking about the hard times, the challenges.

the emotions that happen, but also giving people the evidence of how to pull on the threads of strength. Or when you're not feeling strong, the ability to stay fluid and women really can do this so much better than men. And that is our ability to be fluid with our emotions. , to be able to be really sad and really scared and really mad, and then, you know, take that and experience it and then still come out and say, okay, I felt those emotions and now I'm going to be okay.

So thank you, Melissa. Thanks for saying all that. You really captured, I think  my mission when I am on social media, because I think social media  definitely highlights things too clean, too pretty, too perfect. And you know,  it's funny because I'm never trying to.  Sugarcoat my experience, but I do notice that sometimes I come across as super brave and courageous and I will tell you that, , popping the top in Mexico and stepping out in the world as a flat.

woman with absolutely no breasts definitely is challenging.  I did those things, but I did them with a lot of conversation with my partner, with problem, a lot of tears and trepidation and, and nervousness. And even still, sometimes if I'm wearing  a low cut tank top,  it's like,  someone gonna, what are they thinking?

You know, are they going to think I'm a freak or a weird or, You know, they, how are the, you know, like you've got to definitely learn to not care about how people , are judging you and seeing you. Well, and not only that, you went through a very traumatic event  and with any type of trauma, you have to frame it up.

In order to be able to deal with it on a daily basis. So it may not be so much sugarcoating it as well, as much as you are on a journey of reframing what happened to you in a way that you can actually be a spokesperson about  it. 

Acknowledging that, you know, and I actually want to become more vocal about flat closure specifically because it's not really offered.  It's kind of an. Outcome of a choice, right? But when I was having the conversation with my, with my surgeon,  they were not like, you can have a lumpectomy, a mastectomy, a  bilateral mastectomy, or, and then reconstruction is, or fillers, like, they're not saying, or you can choose to be flat.

They don't even offer it  and it needs to be offered.  Oh, my gosh. Yes.  I am just over the moon excited for how you are showing up in such a short period of time about your journey, about who you are as a woman in the world, as a person in the world, and as a breast cancer,  you call it survivor or thriver,  sur thriver. Sur thriver. People always say survivor, and I have a hard time with that word.  Watch my Dempsey Challenge speech. You'll love it.  It's all about me trying to change the narrative about that word. And so I was just,  everyone says thriver, so I just put a spin on it.

I'm a sur thriver. , I think that's important because you're honoring the fact that you went through something that was life threatening. And you survive, but you know, you didn't just survive, right? You were finding the pathway for thriving, but not just thriving. You have to honor the sir part. So I love that.

And, and I will have a link listeners to the Dempsey challenge speech of our wonderful guest, Melissa. And so that you can all tune into that as well. It'll be in the show notes. Okay. But if you don't see it, reach out to me so I can get that link to you.  Oh, my gosh. Like, what haven't we covered yet, Melissa?

I know you got some new tattoos. When you're ready, you're going to be putting more on. Any last thoughts for folks before I wrap up this  inspirational conversation with you? I would say when it comes to  Getting that tattoo. Do it.  Be patient. Do your due diligence. You know, people want it tomorrow and I think some of the best work you're going to get is you're going to have to wait.

So wait for it and advocate for, I guess, be really clear about what you want that tattoo to look like,  because sometimes people are quiet and use your voice, I guess would be my, my ultimate use your voice. Trust your intuition, perfection.  Listeners, , I'll have all the links to follow Melissa everywhere.

She glows in the show notes, but also be sure to follow your ink story on Instagram at tell me your ink story to see images of Melissa's beautiful and empowering ink. And yes, you're going to see the flat closure right there. And a beautiful, beautiful  photo of her and her darling man, Ryan, as I promised earlier, .

Thank you so much, Melissa, for sharing your beautiful ink stories with us, your cancer surthriver.  Story of us. I'm deeply, deeply grateful for your time, your presence, your inspirational insights about the art of tattoos and the heart and perseverance and tenacity and joy and everything you've got behind your tattoos.

You've helped us connect more deeply with each other during this conversation.  Thanks for having me, Ande. It's been great to share all these stories with you. And I deeply appreciate your passion for the art of tattooing.  Oh, thank you. Thank you, Melissa.